IT IS not uncommon that we see or hear people we know make their decisions in life base on money. Even when one is not happy with their environment, they may not have the courage to make a move because they are afraid of the impact on their financial well-being.
We feel happy when we see our investment grow and lose many nights of sleep when the opposite happens. If we find our life saddled with debts or when we see our peers able to live a more lavish life, we may feel that we have is not enough.
It feels like money has a huge role in our quest to feel contented, satisfied and being happy.
Are these perceptions even true? I am afraid that we only see what we see but there are much more that are untold behind those good lifestyle or items.
The reason I want to talk about this is because we should not use money as the measurement of our progress in life – it should not be the reason we feel we are doing well or vice versa.
Human beings are creatures that seek acceptance and approval from people around them. We want to feel that we belong to something, to some group or culture. When it comes to our relationship with money, the same pattern can be easily observed as well.
Money management
When we see people around us dress well or drive expensive car, we tend to assign them to the successful group and think they are doing well.
Statistics, however, have shown that people who earn high income can also have money issues and seek debt management programme from the Credit Counselling and Debt Management Agency (AKPK). Likewise, not all middle income or low income earners are terrible money manager.
So, high income does not necessarily equal to high happiness.
Comparing what we have to what others have can lead us to an endless chase of happiness based on what other people are doing. It takes away our focus on how well we are doing.
The more we compare, the more we think that we can feel happier if we have more money, buy more things and such.
This thinking has led to many silently sufferings with the relationship we have with our money. In our process of pursuing more money to live the life we want, we might end up losing our voice along the way.
Have you been saying to yourself, “If I have this income, I will be able to do this or feel happier”? Is that even true? There are people who would not hesitate to say that they do not mind getting paid lesser to leave a toxic working environment, too.
If we give more power to money, it will graciously take it and eventually becomes the lens through which we make decisions related to our life.
We must break this pattern and take back the control of our lives. It starts with re-defining the relationship we have with our money.
We will talk about this in the next article. – April 10, 2022
Kevin Neoh, CFP, is a certified member of Financial Planning Association Malaysia and the founder of Money Warriors Community.
The views expressed are solely of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Focus Malaysia.
